Critical Attributes of a Neutral: Quote #1

This quote summarizes, in my opinion, an attribute that separates successful mediators from the rest of the pack. I realized years ago during my first mediation training that to be a valued mediator meant I needed to stop acting like a lawyer and never act like a judge. Over the years, I watched very successful litigators-turned mediators struggle with this mindset. They treated the mediations like depositions—identifying the issues they wanted to discuss, leading the parties where they wanted to go, and ignoring feedback from the parties to the contrary. In mediation, however, the parties must lead the way. Only by listening to the parties can the mediator help them identify what issues must be discussed to reach resolution and whether common ground may exist for a negotiated outcome. It’s not about what agreement the mediator thinks is the right outcome, but rather, helping the parties negotiate an agreement the parties believe is fair.